Dum, dah, dum

Today is my mother's birthday.

I just realized that it is 10:32 in the morning and I have not yet wished her a Happy Birthday. Whoops. I fail as a daughter.

Nothing new there.

I guess this would not be such an egregious offense under normal circumstances, but I'm living at my parents' house at the moment and have seen my mother several times today.

Oh, and we have already argued. We have, as a matter of fact, had at least one argument per day since Friday or Saturday. It is hard to keep track. Sigh.

I choose not to go into great detail about my relationships with extended family members here as they may someday discover this blog and I'm not really up for the shit storm that would be unleashed upon my life if I had shared all my true feelings about some of those people with with entirety of the Internet.

One time, in college, my mother found this essay that I had written about a particular incident in my youth and she basically called me a liar and a fraud and a whole bunch of other things. And then proceeded to bring up said essay routinely for years. Up until...well, when she stops mentioning it I'll let you know. (For the record: the essay was a work of Creative Nonfiction for a Memoir class that I was taking. Creative liberties, therefore, being the object of the exercise. This was more or less lost on my mother. Again, sigh.)

I digress.

My mother and I do not really get along so well. This is due in large part to our radically divergent world views and my having more or less shunned everything she wanted me to accept in and about the universe. Also, she doesn't like that my sister and I don't get along. And that I got divorced. And that before I got divorced I was a twenty year old college sophomore who was having sex with my boyfriend. Or that I am having sex with my boyfriend now and am more or less flatly opposed to getting married. Ever again.

My mother means well. I'm sure that is the case.

She also loves Jesus. A LOT. And that defines her view of the world and makes me crazy.

Anyway, today is my mother's birthday. I got her some pictures of Daughter and framed them as a gift. I also procured her gift from my dad and have to wrap them. I also got stuff to bake a cake and will make dinner. I also have to go get her flowers from my father and I got her CARD from my father and well .....

Yeah, I know. I should have wished her Happy Birthday when I got up. Shit.

Happy Birthday Mom!

I didn't even tell the entire Internet that you are 64.

Whoops.