814, god, when will it end?

Mark Begich pulled ahead by 814 votes by the close of Division of Elections business today.

My election day had been going on for 8 days now.

And I hate election day.

We have felon as a senator and I hate felons.

Of the two big races in Alaska I would be thrilled to win one of them, but I wanted the other!

GOD. Go Mark, Go.

The first yard sign Daughter ever waved (wove?) was for Begich. She was about three months old and in a Bjiorn.

Don't exhale quite yet. . . Like for at LEAST another week.

GAWD.

44.

Whoot!

That is just about all I can say. Whoot!

We have a couple of contested big races up here and my in person early absentee ballot has not yet been counted, but Yes. We. DID! Holy hell.

Boyfriend and I were lounging around in bed this morning (Ha! I woke up, in a bed, with a man!) and talking about how he never thought he would see this in his life time and what a hell of a thing it is and I am far more struck by the fact that my child will never live in a country where it is a break from the norm for a person who's skin doesn't look like yours to hold the highest office in the land.

Proudest moment of my day? Daughter listening to the news on the radio in the car and without any prompting whatsoever saying very emphatically..."That is Barack Obama. He is our President now." And then disolving into a fit of giggles.

Hope won. Change has begun anew in America. I'm a proud American today. I don't say that all that often.

Whoot!

(Also, that woman I can't stand got kicked to the curb and by 'curb' I mean back to my backyard and that sucks, but I'll gladly take one for Team America today. And yes, those Alaskan Grown sweatshirts are a real thing and yes everyone including my kid has one. They are, to be fair, a fundraising effort for a local farmer's asssociation, but ewwwwwwwwwww. I can definatly never wear one now and they are mostly all green and damn that blue is ugly.)

on feeling jinxy

So, tomorrow, there is something happening tomorrow...I can't quite put my finger on it, but I know there is like an event or a thing or OH! WAIT! The ELECTION!

As I have already noted (here) I voted a couple of weeks ago, so tomorrow is more about doing some volunteer stuff, hanging out with Daughter, and getting my hair done than actual work for the first time in a looooooooong time. Also, Boyfriend arrives late tomorrow night and we are staying in a hotel for the night downtown on the off chance that we decide to stay up ridiculously late and socialize with other hyped up political types until far to late in the evening/morning.

I've got to tell you, I don't really feel like it. I don't really want to go wave signs tomorrow morning (at 7am). I don't really want to go to the party and watch the first returns come in with my favorite congressional candidate of all time and his loyal supporters. I really don't want to go to Election Central and see everyone. I really, really, really don't feel up to heading over to the bar after Election Central to watch the rundown on the televisions there. I really don't feel up to it.

I do feel like getting my haircut.

I do feel like dropping off my kid, picking up some sushi, and curling up in that hotel room with a remote control and eventually a man I haven't seen in a month.

I don't feel like I have a place out and about tomorrow night. I don't feel like I've earned a spot at the party or a seat at the bar. I haven't actually DONE anything this time around. I put up some yard signs and staffed some tables and a couple of events last summer. I've consulted on a race for the past year in Sitka. I gave a lot of money I didn't really have available to a bunch of candidates, but I haven't been busting my ass to try and get anyone elected. I haven't been putting in the unbelievable amount of time that all these others have and I'm embarrassed. I don't want to have to talk to anyone.

I don't want to stumble over what it is I am DOING with myself these days.

The truth is, I'm not doing much and it is really hard to come up with an answer that doesn't make me sound like a total drop out from society.

I encounter this problem fairly routinely. At the grocery store, at the gym, at the coffee bar, at wherever it is I find myself where I run into someone I know/have known/went to school with/is friends or acquaintances or colleges of one of my parents... I'm really not doing anything. I'm living at my parents' house. I'm taking care of my kid. I'm serving as my parents' personal shopper, chauffeur, and caterer. I'm waiting around to see when and if my Boyfriend will arrive. I'm totally out of money. Totally. I'm freaking out about money. And about having to get a job. And about the time sacrifice that is going to mean to my Daughter. And about how much she really truly needs me around right now and more than that WANTS me around right now. And how even though she sleeps at her Dad's house three nights a week I'm with her everyday for at least a part of the day except every other Sunday. I sacrificed a lot of time with her for the first two years of her life. It wasn't exactly voluntary, but I made choices and those choices did not often allow for us to see each other everyday of the week. I don't think I could survive that again and I know it would be hard on her. I know that, at this point, any "Mom Time" that falls by the wayside because of a job is going to affect her and not for the better.

The guilt of knowing that something is going to have to change soon is overwhelming and paralytic.

There are some bright spots.

Boyfriend's job has been transferred up here for the rest of the year, so he will be here, living here after tomorrow. That was a major obstacle that I've been waiting out since last summer and I'm relieved that its over now. Of course, the next step is just as hard; now we all have to reintegrate back into the relationship and its been a couple of months and it is never easy. But, he came through. He stepped up and is relocating his life to be here with us (IN. MY. PARENTS. HOUSE. nonetheless...at least for the time being) and he even made it five days prior to my emotionally distraught deadline, so, there is hope.

We have tickets to travel at Christmas. Boyfriend, his Son, Daughter, and I.

The damn election is almost over and Sarah damn Palin might just loose and that would be such a sweet, sweet victory.

I get to go to Seattle at least once and maybe twice this month. That pleases me to no end.

Daughter will be here, with us, for all of next week as Her Dad is going to be away on a business trip.

These are all good things. These are all hope filled things.

Goddamn, I don't want to jinx anything, (Internet, you have no IDEA how TERRIFIED I am of jinxing this thing) but there is a really good chance we could elect Barack Obama President of the United States tomorrow. Tomorrow! I think that would be enough to carry me through for awhile. I need something to believe in, something to have a little faith in, something to point to and say Hot Damn! Everyone does not in fact suck. And so, I sit here typing with fingers crossed and vote cast. Trying to squelch my inner cynic. Trying to give myself until Wednesday to figure out what to do with my life.

It is snowing outside. Just a little. Maybe it will keep coming down and everything will look pretty again. Maybe come Wednesday the world will actually be a little bit prettier of a place.

i am a little in love with keith olberman

I really am. I know that's wierd.

I think perhaps his is the person in the world more cynical than me.

I guess that should frighten me as he's got twenty years on me, but, well, I've had to deal with Sarah Palin longer and that ages you. Seriously. It does. I transcribed her professionally. Oh. The horror...the HORROR!



P.S. Also, I admit to having had a pretty good high school girl crush on one Ben Affleck back in the day. Pre-J.Lo. The J.Lo Bently business really wrecked it for me. Sigh.

enough with the winter already

Good morning Day 2! The sun is shining! We got an extra hour of sleep! The Election will be OVER in one less day!

Its 11 degrees outside! Seriously. Come on weather. You suck. Soooooooooo cold.

Today Daughter goes home a few hours early because her little brother turned two yesterday and today is his party. For whatever reason, I decided that we should take a treat as well as a gift, so we made rice crispies with leftover Halloween M&Ms in them. I'm questioning (a little) whether this is a good idea or a slightly passive aggressive sugar overdrive tactic. I can't tell. I am guessing the fact that I question my own motives is possible not the best of signs. Ah well, Daughter is very proud of her treats (we cut them in circles and put them in cupcake papers and packaged them in a cute box with tissue paper...I may not 'craft' but this I can do.)

I'm going to hit the gym after I drop her at the party and then I have to get actually motivated to get my room cleaned and laundry done before boyfriend arrives Tuesday Night. I think we are going to spring for a hotel room downtown. I have several reasons for this. . . above and beyond the obvious.
1) He doesn't arrive until nearly 11pm at which point I will not be driving to the airport to retrieve him.
2) The logistics of parking the car somewhere downtown that he can easily find in a cab AND leaving the car unlocked so that he can drop his bags AND find his way to whatever bar I am residing in seems like a lot of hassle (especially since he does not know the town very well and I'm not really interested in shouting directions on my cellphone either in the street or from a loud place full of people.
3) Well, um, we haven't seen each other in over a month and will be living WITH. MY. PARENTS. until at least the end of the year, so, um, well, a hotel seems "logical".
4) I'm just naturally assuming that I'm going to be somewhat to severely hungover come Wednesday morning and I'd really rather not share said hangover with my mother who drinks about half a glass of white wine every other decade.

So, there you are. I've just talked myself into the 100 dollar hotel room. Done. TaDa! Fun. Fun. Fun.

Well, that concludes this edition of NaBloPoMo for Sunday, November 2nd.

Paula Radcliff won the New York City Marathon. Boyfriend's sister is also running.

Senator John McCain tried really, really hard not to make too much fun of his running mate on SNL last night.

And I don't have to share Election night with my mother. Good Times!

Thanks for tuning in. . . See you tomorrow.

NaBloPoWhoa!

November 1st is here and here I am posting my first (of thirty. whoa.) straight posts to celebrate NaBloPoMo.

I'm sure a fair amount of this week will be dedicated to the upcoming election. I'll probably be loosing my mind all over the Internet on Tuesday as that is how I typically spend the doom and gloom downtime that generally absorbs my election days. Maybe it will be different this year. I'm not "working" on a campaign for the first time in SIX years, so all I have to do is wave a sign for a couple hours in the morning then I'm getting my haircut and have Daughter all afternoon. Then I'm going to an Election Night party and Election Central and then, almost inevitably, to Election Central 2.0 (aka the bar across the street from Election Central where we all end up because it is full of televisions).

Boyfriend arrives on a flight just before 11pm on Election Night too. (Yay!)

Which leads to what you can expect here Wednesday: A Hungover Post Election Post. I can almost guarantee this as a) well, I remember last day after election day...well, I vaguely remember it. . . b) I haven't been to a bar since, probably, April. Oh, no, that's a lie. I went out after the Primary last summer and well...as I don't have scotch at home well...hangover... and finally c) I've never, ever, won big on Election Night. I typically endure a pretty painful loss (or six) and I'm still freaking out about the fact that of the 6 races that I'm really interested and/or involved in I am pretty confident about taking at least three and there is a possibility that they may ALL go my way and I really don't think that I can survive that having some sort of an aneurysm.

After that, Thursday and Friday are kind of foggy. I'll either be moving on, elated, or well, pretty seriously depressed and blaming Boyfriend for all of it. (Yes, Internet, here is a confession. . . Boyfriend works for Her. And I choose to hold him personally responsible when it comes to all things Sarah that annoy the holy living shit out of me.)

At any rate. I'm excited to be here. I was pretty pumped when I discovered NaBlo last year. A whole month with TONS to read! It was about six months after I came upon the glorious world of the mommyblogs, a twist of online fate for which I will be eternally grateful and undoubtedly expounding upon this month.

Ok! Feeling Good! Day one is done! Whoot!

59:59

Well, I'll be damned.

I ran a full hour yesterday. Voluntarily and everything. I am bursting with pride in myself. Sorry, but I totally am. I didn't know that I could do that. I totally kicked ass.

I out ran the stopwatch function on my running watch, which only goes to 59:59.

I went running on Saturday on the trails behind my high school do do a little hill work and got lost. I wound up running for 55 minutes, rather than my usual 40 and I felt pretty good at the end of it, so I decided that I would shoot for upping the ante to 60 minutes for my Monday, Pre-preschool pick up run.
(Reader's Note: I was not a runner in high school. I used to hang out on the side of the old gym at the head of this trail system and smoke cigarettes in the dark before school, so I know where the START, but not where the GO exactly.)

My weekday runs here are almost all exclusively on this trail. It is pretty and not super hard. It is fairly well populated, so I am not nervous about running alone, but it is not overcrowded when I run as pick up is 12:30. I mostly get to run there because of its proximity to pre-school. I can get back in the car and be at the front door in anywhere between 30 seconds and 5 minutes depending on where I am parked along the trail.

In preparation for the NEW! LONG! RUN! I decided to treat myself to an updated iPod play list and new earphones. The ones that I bought last summer have been royally sucking lately and requiring significant mid stride readjustments to keep them in place. To much hassle. I settled on these and they ROCKED.

Running is just about the only time I get to rock out to loud music anymore and I cherish that about the time. I'm a little afraid that I can be seen mouthing the words to The Boss by most everyone I pass by, but I can't really be bothered with those types of details.

Anyway, I parked perfectly and added exactly ten minutes to my outbound time. Which meant that I hit the 30 minute mark at my turn around point rather than 20.

I am pretty slow and have become a fairly steady runner. Thirty minutes out means 30 minutes back. I was concentrating on going slow too, so as not to burn out before I hit my goal. Anyway, long story short and with much help from Bruce and the Badlands (repeated three times between minutes 42 and 52) I totally hit my time and I overshot just a bit at the end. I also had the pleasure of passing a bunch of people including no fewer than six other runners (well, three and a group of three) and seeing two sets of walkers twice. The new headphones were a smash success and although I should have had the sense to wear gloves when it was still frosty out at 11:20 when I set out, I did not get too cold.

I have no real idea of how far I went, but I would figure it at about 8 minute miles which would make for a 7.5 mile run.

I had an actual appetite for the first time in a long time.

I feel better today after the much longer run than I usually feel after the 40 minute runs. Perhaps I was going slower? Or I got into a better stride over the longer distance? I don't really know what the deal is. Feels good though. Strong.

I want to be able to run 10 miles by my birthday (Dec. 14th. . . you can send me a Wii or an iPhone if you insist...or a house...or a new car...you know, its the little things that count.) And I want to run a half marathon while we are on vacation in March in SoCal. (Yes, yes, I KNOW about the Disney Princess Half. No, no, I will NOT be doing that one.)

Anyway, it is not often that I am bursting with personal pride. So I relished this one a little.
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In Other News:

I was hauled out to a fundraiser this morning at seven am. Seriously, seven am. No, I don't know why I agreed to go. Yes, it was sort of nice to see some of those people. Also, I got a lead on a job that I would possibly enjoy very much.
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Daughter is still sick and did not go to pre-school today. She is still surviving on a diet primarily composed of popcicles, 'taco chips' (READ: Half a hard taco shell. We were out of tortilla chips.) , storybooks, and The Lion King.
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Also! Boyfriend has meetings in town Thursday and Friday so he is flying up tomorrow and staying until Sunday night. Sweet!

Happy Tuesday!

Good taste starts early

There are two (non-disney) people that Daughter can identify when they flash onto the tv screen.

"Daughter, who is that?"



Answer: "Barack O-Mahma!"


And while watching the Olympics every night this week she picked up on this one...




"Hey Guys, there's My Phelps! He's at the Gulyimpics! He swims in The Wah-ter CUUUBE."