so, i finally broke down and went to the gym

So, I finally broke down and went to the gym. I have been waiting (in vein) for my running motivation to return as the temperature steadily drops. I blamed the stress of the election, which will not conclude here until this week. I blamed the goddamned cold and the snow and the ice and the dark and the goddamned cold. I blamed well my own laziness and not wanting to be apart from Daughter for a whole hour and readjusting to living in the same house as my Boyfriend and well then I decided that this was happening a few days ago (Update: It is SO. NOT. Whew! Curious concern: What's up with the plethora of symptoms? Huh? Huh, body, don't start screwing with me now...)

I have had a gym membership for just about exactly two years now. Daughter and I use it to go to the pool. I mostly use it for tanning. On Election Day I went straight to the steam room after two hours of subzero sign waving. I Love The Steam Room.

I have been a very lousy gym member since I discovered that I actually enjoy running out of doors. Treadmills are kind of a bore after that. Also, the gym nearest my parents' house, the one with the pool that Daughter and I use, is my least favorite for anything but swimming. The room with the cardio stuff is not as well ventilated as it could be and is hot and has three rows of televisions which means that I always wind up running underneath a television which make me uneasy. Also, its full of housewives. Southside housewives. Who are kind of, in my opinion, the Stripmallville variety of The Housewives of Orange County. Really obnoxious oil company exec spouses who can kind of bite me. They also sort of stink eye me. I think they think I'm a trophy wife. Since I am about 15 years younger than they are and there with a young kid and really no one my age who has a kid lives in this part of town because it is damned expensive, etc. etc. etc. Anyway, according to my theory, the fact that CLEARLY I have stolen someones husband makes me their natural enemy so they get all clique-e and don't talk to me or my kid and they can bite my divorced and living with my parents single mother ass...(which, thanks to all the running is way hotter than theirs. So there.)

The gym I like is on the other side of town. It is conveniently located close to Daughter's school. So today, I got off my ass and after I dropped Boyfriend at the airport went to the good gym with the friendly, educated, less obnoxious and way more athletic people. Where, at 10:45 is filled primarily with retirees and a couple of housewives who are only five-ten years older than me. It only has one row of televisions all located at the front of the well ventilated treadmill room and the treadmills are much better as all the good runners in town work out there.

I did 45 minutes on the treadmill. I really don't like treadmill running. I used to. I'm better at pacing myself now and according to the treadmill I run a lot slower than I think that I do on trails. Which sort of bums me out, but I'm trying to work through it. I even did some crunches on a ball and some pilates push ups on a mat after I ran. And I took a glorious, glorious steam. So, I am resigning myself to get back into the gym routine. I am flirting with the idea of adding a twice weekly Pilates class and a couple of spin classes into my routine for the winter because, seriously, I can only do so much treadmill running before I ache more than I should. We are adding Boyfriend onto my membership after the new year and I think that spin would be good for him too. Although he hates group exercise and is reluctant to even run in public. Which I think is weird.

I also am going to force FORCE myself to run outside once a week through the winter. But only when it is above 20 degrees. Below twenty is freaking crazy stupid and painful.

Ok. So there it is. I went to the gym. I ran for the first time in two weeks. (Oh? Did I forget to mention I have been LAME?). I did not freeze my lungs. I did not fall on ice and break my bones. These are nice things. I DID fantasize about being in Seattle for four days and getting to run at Greenlake in 50 degree weather. I really can't wait for that.

Snow! Snow! And More SNOW!

It snowed the entire time that I was awake yesterday. All morning, Snow. All afternoon? Snow. All evening? Yes, you guessed it...SNOW!

Now, I realize that I live in ALASKA (no, I can't see Russia OR Canada from my house...neither can Sarah Palin, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't know that). And that this is the ARCTIC. And that it is winter in the arctic Most of The Damn Time, but I am not really a snow person per se. I totally understand why millions and millions of people live in Southern California. 72. Sunny. 99% of the time. I get that. I would love that. I don't care if it means sharing my space with 20 million like minded people.

Of course, that won't be happening.

Instead I am resolved to take up a winter sport in earnest. I started running outside last winter and have the grippers for my shoes and everything. They make all the difference in the world when it comes to running on snow and ice. I also own a pair of ice skates (Boyfriend is from Canada. Apparently, hockey is sport or something there.) and a pair of cross country ski boots. And polls I think. I probably don't have the polls anymore. Or the skis (which weren't really mine, they were hand-me-downs from my ex-sister-in-law and were too short or something at any rate.) I never really took much to skiing. I didn't have the right gear (snow/wind pants for starters) and I got on skis for the first time when I was 22, so. Ugh.

I would like to learn how to X-Country ski. I've been enjoying trail running a lot this fall. Daughter is to young for lessons for a few more years, but it would be good if I knew what I was doing by the time she gets really into it. Also, everyone in her Dad's Family skis, so I don't want to be the odd man out of her winter activity.

Plus, its good for you. Its easier on your knees than running which, in the long run, will probably extend my running 'career'.

Which means....ta da!...that in addition to a new computer, a better camera, a house, and a car, I also need Cross Country Skis, Polls, Snow Pants, and Lessons. The hat that I need for winter running to keep my ears from freezing and falling off (don't laugh, that has happened to people), will double for skiing. That is something. See, I am practically THRIFTY!

Seriously, Internet, I need a job. If only for the stuff it can buy.

59:59

Well, I'll be damned.

I ran a full hour yesterday. Voluntarily and everything. I am bursting with pride in myself. Sorry, but I totally am. I didn't know that I could do that. I totally kicked ass.

I out ran the stopwatch function on my running watch, which only goes to 59:59.

I went running on Saturday on the trails behind my high school do do a little hill work and got lost. I wound up running for 55 minutes, rather than my usual 40 and I felt pretty good at the end of it, so I decided that I would shoot for upping the ante to 60 minutes for my Monday, Pre-preschool pick up run.
(Reader's Note: I was not a runner in high school. I used to hang out on the side of the old gym at the head of this trail system and smoke cigarettes in the dark before school, so I know where the START, but not where the GO exactly.)

My weekday runs here are almost all exclusively on this trail. It is pretty and not super hard. It is fairly well populated, so I am not nervous about running alone, but it is not overcrowded when I run as pick up is 12:30. I mostly get to run there because of its proximity to pre-school. I can get back in the car and be at the front door in anywhere between 30 seconds and 5 minutes depending on where I am parked along the trail.

In preparation for the NEW! LONG! RUN! I decided to treat myself to an updated iPod play list and new earphones. The ones that I bought last summer have been royally sucking lately and requiring significant mid stride readjustments to keep them in place. To much hassle. I settled on these and they ROCKED.

Running is just about the only time I get to rock out to loud music anymore and I cherish that about the time. I'm a little afraid that I can be seen mouthing the words to The Boss by most everyone I pass by, but I can't really be bothered with those types of details.

Anyway, I parked perfectly and added exactly ten minutes to my outbound time. Which meant that I hit the 30 minute mark at my turn around point rather than 20.

I am pretty slow and have become a fairly steady runner. Thirty minutes out means 30 minutes back. I was concentrating on going slow too, so as not to burn out before I hit my goal. Anyway, long story short and with much help from Bruce and the Badlands (repeated three times between minutes 42 and 52) I totally hit my time and I overshot just a bit at the end. I also had the pleasure of passing a bunch of people including no fewer than six other runners (well, three and a group of three) and seeing two sets of walkers twice. The new headphones were a smash success and although I should have had the sense to wear gloves when it was still frosty out at 11:20 when I set out, I did not get too cold.

I have no real idea of how far I went, but I would figure it at about 8 minute miles which would make for a 7.5 mile run.

I had an actual appetite for the first time in a long time.

I feel better today after the much longer run than I usually feel after the 40 minute runs. Perhaps I was going slower? Or I got into a better stride over the longer distance? I don't really know what the deal is. Feels good though. Strong.

I want to be able to run 10 miles by my birthday (Dec. 14th. . . you can send me a Wii or an iPhone if you insist...or a house...or a new car...you know, its the little things that count.) And I want to run a half marathon while we are on vacation in March in SoCal. (Yes, yes, I KNOW about the Disney Princess Half. No, no, I will NOT be doing that one.)

Anyway, it is not often that I am bursting with personal pride. So I relished this one a little.
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In Other News:

I was hauled out to a fundraiser this morning at seven am. Seriously, seven am. No, I don't know why I agreed to go. Yes, it was sort of nice to see some of those people. Also, I got a lead on a job that I would possibly enjoy very much.
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Daughter is still sick and did not go to pre-school today. She is still surviving on a diet primarily composed of popcicles, 'taco chips' (READ: Half a hard taco shell. We were out of tortilla chips.) , storybooks, and The Lion King.
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Also! Boyfriend has meetings in town Thursday and Friday so he is flying up tomorrow and staying until Sunday night. Sweet!

Happy Tuesday!

Philosophy, Mystery, Anarchy, All is 'Lost'

Busy. Three glorious hours of LOST this evening.

Tomorrow I will blurb a bit about this afternoon's run.

Here are the high/lows:
Went further, a little longer, and a wee bit faster. Walked only a little bit and all up hill in the middle.
Also, the weather continues to ROCK. Hard.
Wore the old socks instead of the new socks. Re-affirmed the absolute suckage that is the old socks. Have multiple ugly toes as a result of egg sucking socks.

Additional odd and somewhat embarrassing detail:
There was fresh bear scat (read: big pile of steaming black bear shit) in the middle of the trail at the beginning of my run where no people were around. So, in an effort to avoid startling a large creature (or two, or three) that would find my maggoty slow self a delightful snack, I sort of sang along to my iPod. In the hopes that this would alert said near by bears to my presence and they would leave me effing alone. The only creatures who seemed to be alerted were a trio of long haired high school aged mountain bikers who found me to be hilarious. In a sad old scared lady sort of way. That's hot.

Also, read this. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/29/arts/television/29lost.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Lost finale coming up SOON! Hee hee!

*Update*

Stiff this morning.

Probably need new shoes.

Plan to go out every other day. That seems manageable.

Still thinking about how much I enjoyed running solo outside.

Re-Running

Ok. Today I went running.

I was gone forty five minutes. I think I went about three miles on the trail behind my house. We walk it a lot. It takes under an hour to walk. Yes, that's right...I went s-l-o-w-l-y. I walked a little bit too. The uphill part that was just about midway. I didn't start to feel any good until I was well into the return, I loosened up a bit, let myself speed things up and stretch out my stride, the stitch I had been battling abated. Interesting.

I haven't been running with any commitment or regularity in about a year.

I started running when I was 20 and dating the man who is now my ex-husband. He was a runner. His sister was a state champion runner. Running was sort of a foregone conclusion.

I actually had always wanted to be a runner. I am a swimmer. I swam competitively on and off from 8-20. I was on a Master's team the year before I got pregnant (and five a.m. practices became utterly ridiculous). I still swim on my own about once a week. My daughter and I hit the pool daily when she is with me. It is our thing. We "Go. To. The. POOL!" She is the cutest water creature ever with her over sized Speedo and the really big green goggles. Prancing around the kiddie pool. Singing Winnie the Pooh. Her favorite time to go is when the grandmas are doing water aerobics; shakin' it to nineties dance beats blasting in the giant tile room. 'We dance Mommy! We dance In. The. POOOOL!" She even submits to the shower pre and post swim as she has accepted that big girls get to go swimming and big girls who get to go swimming have to take showers.

Anyway. I like to swim. I'm In my element in the pool. Even for as much as I balked at it when I was 16. (To be fair, I threatened to quit about three times a year, every year from the ages of 1-16 when I did just quit, then went back, briefly a couple of times.)

So, I have a lot of mixed emotions about running. I am not in my element there. I like the gear, but don't much look like a hardcore runner. I'm tallish, 5'81/2" after the baby, and reasonably thin anymore, but I have yet to find a decent non-cotton sports bra that deals with the over movement on top. My right foot kicks out. I hunch my shoulders too much and run with my head mostly down. I usually wear a hat because I'm pretty photosensitive. Mostly, I think I am just self conscious.

I don't feel like a runner. I can't even projectile spit very effectively.

My self-consciousness leads pretty much to my utter lack of regularly scheduled motivation when it comes to picking up a running routine and sticking to it for any significant period of time.

We ran a lot the summer before I got pregnant. We ran a lot that whole year. Then I started working and my ex-husband was in grad school. I went back to the pool. He went to the gym with my sister. He still goes to the gym with my sister. Hmm.

I had a really low energy pregnancy. I spent my first trimester backpacking through Europe, when I got back to the states I mostly slept, went to class, swam some, rode a bike a bit, walked a lot. Remodeled a house, moved in, had a C-Section. Walked some more. Separated.

It was in the midst of my separation that I started running again. Pretty seriously. After my campaign job ended I got a gym membership. I ran late at night. Late. Usually between 8:30 and 11pm. I didn't want to be around people. Certainly not anyone that I knew. I was appropriately miserable you might say. I had moved out of the house that I shared with my husband and six month old baby. They had stayed. To say it was awful would not do that time justice. It was unspeakable. I mostly stayed home during the day. Read books about surviving. Gorged on bad fiction and The Gilmore Girls.

After the post-work happy endorphin people had left the gym, I would make my way there. With the sad or odd or crazy scheduled people. It gave me the opportunity to watch prime time cable. That was a draw.

I ran and ran and ran then. Not fast or very consistently. On this build in to running in thirty days regimen. I would run and run and run while listening to Joni Mitchell and Aimee Mann. Yeah. I know, right?

After all the running I would cool down on a bike in the Spinning Studio! while listening to Jeff Buckley sing 'Hallelujah' and then spend about an hour in the steam room. Shower, go home, curl up around some tofu scramble or a beer or a martini or just some Knob Creek and wait to be released into sleep again.

I would sleep late in those days. Ten, eleven o'clock in the morning. And then later, after everyone had gone home to their lives, to their families, then I would go run.

So. Here is where I am. Today I ran for 45 minutes after. I'm giving myself credit for three miles. I returned home and layed in the grass and had some water I pushed out 100 crunches.

Oh, thank you so much Dr. Mama...I feel very maggot like.

I ate the shit out of some barbecued chicken. Yes, man. De-lisssssh.

I want to be running five miles in forty minutes and doing 500 crunches in a day. We shall see what happens. I want to do this big run in Oregon in August.

I'm sure I'll write more about running soon. I'm glad I got out there. I want to keep going. I really enjoyed running alone. I was always afraid to do that before. I think this is some sort of personal growth. Or strength. Or confidence. That can't be all bad.