Daughter has the requisite two year old dress up box filled with stuff that has somehow accumulated in my life over the course of the past year or so. There are a couple of wallets that didn't work very well, a hippie purse with a cellphone pocket that I bought in the Haight last summer because it struck me as hilarious, a red cowgirl hat that we got at the party store before her birthday, some of her old baby things that she puts on her baby doll or stuffed animals. And there are some Mardi Gras beads. I got them last year. In the town where I was working, which is just about as far away from New Orleans as possible. They are of the cheep, bauble-ly, multi-colored variety. She finds them to be gloriously glamorous. She comes chasing me down with them at least once a day.
'Wear the beeeeads, Mommy! Put. Them. ON. Ahhhhhh. Yes," she says with her finger to her mouth like a fashion designer, "Now you are ready."
"Ready for what?" I ask, though the answer is always the same.
"Now you are ready to get M-A-R-R-I-E-D, Silly Mommy."
I'm not sure where this fascination with marriage and weddings and brides has come from. I know she has been to some weddings with her dad. Maybe he and his girlfriend are planning on getting married. I guess she knows that her grandparents are all married and her aunt is also. Our neighbors got married this weekend. She thought that was neat, but we did not attend the wedding.
I am not getting married.
Not by a long shot.
I adore Boyfriend. We are living together. Daughter and Boyfriend and I are a little family. Three Musketeers.
We had a lovely weekend. The sort of weekend I have been waiting and longing for for years now. We had our first official 'Movie Night' with fresh popped, highly buttered popcorn and Enchanted.
We slept in late Saturday, Boyfriend was here to make the coffee in the morning, we all went for a run after pancakes. The weather didn't suck. We had friends for dinner. Track Trials were on TV.
Sunday was busy. We played at the park, went swimming together, had a good albeit short nap, and then took Daughter to her first movie in the theater. We saw Wall.E. She did great. Hunkered down with a HUGE tub of popcorn. Cooing occasionally about her love of butter. She needed to get up and stretch her legs a bit in the middle, but danced to Peter Gabriel all the way out to the car. To top it all off, the weather was rocking yesterday and we barbecued burgers for a late dinner after watching Track and Swimming Trails while cooking.
I read some magazine articles this weekend too. Lots of Angelina Jolie talking about babies and relationships. In one, I think it was Vanity Fair, she said something to the effect that its easy to get married, what's hard is to be a family and raise children together. She said that she and Brad Pitt 'feel married'. I don't know what marriage 'feels' like I guess. I know what divorce feels like. I don't think I 'felt' married until we had separated. I don't need that anymore.
Right now I feel happy and whole. I feel loved. I feel like my child's mother. That is all I need.